I realized too late
The my new dress was see-through
Please enjoy the view

As a way to stave off boredom throughout the day I’ve decided to make haiku about my day. The one above was about my day yesterday. Here’s today’s:

Chu-hi on the bus
Seemed like such a good idea
My headache dissents

So after I make a big New Years resolution to be better about updating my blog regularly I don’t write in it for about a month. I’m sorry. Let me say it wasn’t my fault. There’s been a lot of darkness in my life and last month I had another bombshell dropped on me.  I’d talk more about it on here, but it’s a family matter and there are other people in my family who might not appreciate a lot of soul-bearing and my thoughts on personal issues. And I’m going to respect their wishes.

I will say that dealing with these issues while in a foreign country is not easy, though. You’re far away and it’s easy to close yourself off to everyone. Sadly, I’ve done that too much over here and I feel now like people never got a chance to know me. They just know this girl who’s quiet and lost in her own thoughts. I’m trying hard not to fall into that trap again. I’m trying to reach out to people this time instead, but it’s hard because people don’t always reach back. But I’ll survive, I always do. In the end that’s what I excel at. I’m not going to let other people’s stupid decisions get me down anymore. I’m going to make my own path out here and not fall into a pit of self pity again.

Last weekend when all the world seemed to be going wrong I called my dad as a last-ditch effort to regain some sanity. He told me that it’s hard to believe when you’re at the lowest point in your life that things will ever look bright again, but if you persevere things do start to look up again.

Well it’s been almost a week and I can honestly say that things are definitely brighter than they were. I’m still working on not letting the shadows of what’ transpired, what I’ve learned and what I’ve said not consuming me. of course it’s hard when certain people only want to spread the toxicity from their own miserable existence into yours.

For those who don’t know, I’ve been going through some intense personal trials. Trials that have made me question everything that I thought I knew about myself and the people I love. For those who do know, thanks for being there for me, for being a (in many cases metaphorical) shoulder to cry on when I needed it and an open ear and heart for me. It brought me so much comfort to know that in the tough times you’re never truly alone and that support is there for you if you seek it out.

So just remember that there’s hope and that the good times will come again. And if it’s people who are getting you down, there’s nothing more satisfying than removing them from your phone, your Facebook and just your life in general. Life is too short to deal with people who only want to make you miserable.