Every elementary teacher in Japan has had the joy of trying to work with Eigo Note: The frustration that comes with its lesson plans, which hardly incorporate the native speaker at all, the “digital blackboard,” which pretty much makes us obsolete. While I don’t disagree with the English level, it’d be nice if they were a bit more inclusive, after all the ALTs in the elementary schools pretty much run the lessons (or should be anyway).

But they’re the standard text for 5th and 6th grade, so you do what you gotta do.

Well some ALTs took out their frustration on Eigo Note by turning it into something completely twisted in wonderful, in the “How To Use Eigo Note to Pick Up Women.” All of these conversations come from the CDs that accompany our textbook. I’ll never forget the time one of my teachers sprung the “Green Cap” song on me in class, and now I’ll never be able to do it with a straight face.

Let’s enjoying our English teacher humor everyone!

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Japanese schoolchildren are adorable. I don’t know if it’s the uniforms or the pigtails or the mullets, but something about everything they do has a twinge of cute overload. At my school, one of the popular games for girls to play at recess is Hana Ichi Monme (花いちもんめ). It’s a little like Japanese Red Rover The girls break off into two teams and walk back and forth at each other while alternating singing a song:

勝ってうれしい花いちもんめ               katte ureshii hana ichi monme
負けてくやしい花いちもんめ               makete kuyashii hana ichi monme
あの子が欲しい                                        ano ko ga hoshii
あの子が分からん                                    ano ko ga wakaran
相談しましょう                                        sodan shimasho
そうしましょ！                                        so shimasho

決まった!　　　　　　　　　　　　 kimatta!
(A Team) Luckyちゃんが欲しい          Lucky-chan ga hoshii
(B Team)Coolちゃんが欲しい　　      Cool-chan ga hoshii

We’re happy we won, hana ichi monme
We’re sad we lost, hana ichi monme
We want that kid
We don’t know “that kid”
Let’s talk about it
Yes, lets!

We’ve decided
We want Lucky!
We want Cool!

It’s not much of a song, but it’s cute to watch. After they sing they huddle in their respective group and pick a member of the opposite team to challenge. The two challengers go out and either play Rock, Paper, Scissors or a game of chicken. The loser is then made to join the winning team.

In case you don’t believe me, here’s a video of the game in action: (more…)

The other day my kids found a snake at school eating a mole. I ran back up to get my camera to take some pictures because it was one of those few times you actually see a snake sitting out in the open swallowing a living creature whole. In that time my students managed to piss the snake off. I mangaged to instead get some video of one pissed off snake.

Now enjoy … Snakes on a Playground

And for good measure, here’s the snake with its mole. After the snake ran away, the mole quietly escaped in the madness. I was pissed.

WARNING: this is a gross picture.

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It was a great day to be a firefighter in Kanazawa. Well at least for the hundreds of firefighters who got up early to show off their acrobatics and (mostly) rock hard glutes to their adoring public as a part of their Dezome-shiki (New Year festival).

James and I got up early, braved the miserable weather and made it to the train station (ON TIME for once) and went down to Kanazawa to watch the firefighters strut their stuff. And strut they did, out in wonderful traditional underwear, which is a fancy way of saying “male thong.” If that weren’t exciting enough, they then sprayed each other with water from their fire hoses. How can they stand to be in such cold weather getting sprayed with icy cold water? “They’re all drunk,” explained the female firefighter standing guard near my group as we snapped pictures from the sidelines. Ahh their ancient secret has been revealed.

It wasn’t all booty, though. First they showed off their acrobatics in the fire ladder, doing different kinds of splits and handstands. It was fun to see, but if I ever get trapped in a burning building because my would-be rescuer decided he needed to show off his Superman pose on top of the ladder first, my ghost is coming back to haunt him.

Click to see pictures. Be warned, there is gratuitous male-thong wearing. Not for people who are offended by male derriere.

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A compilation of some of the random quips from my kids. (Conversations in italics were in Japanese.)

Male Student: Which boy is your type?
(One of the first questions I was asked when I started @ the junior high.)

4th Grade Girl: Her arms are soft! Like a bunny! (The children learn about arm hair. And I don’t think my arms are AS soft as a bunny’s.)

Me: I’m from America.
1st grader: You’re wrong! You’re from Germany!
(I’m getting schooled on my mother country by a first grader.

Me: Why is Santa green?
6th grader: Because he’s a frog.
(Ahhh, such sound logic)

3rd grader: Melanie-sensei! Melanie-sensei! Today we learned that “sensei” means “teacher,” so do we call you “Teacher Melanie” or “Melanie-teacher”?
(I don’t want to correct him because he’s so enthusiastic about it)

Hello everyone sorry for the delay. I am in Japan and have been since July 26. Unfortunately Japan loves beaureaucracy so it took me just more than a month to get internet at my apartment. So here we are and I am ready to blog again. First here’s what’s going on with me. Life in Japan is great, I’ll occaisionally update here with pictures from the land of the rising sun. I started school last week and have been going around to my three schools in my town – one junior high and two elementary schools. I am living in a very small apartment at the very north end of the city and am considered the last stop before the Noto (which I will talk about later).

My schools are a lot of fun. All the teachers are nice, but really busy so it’s hard to get to know them because they’re always in a rush to do things. So far there hasn’t been any great culture shock yet, I do get homesick whenever I cook or go shopping, though. I am not a fan of the Japanese supermarket. Mostly I’m not a fan of how expensive everything is over here ($1.50 for an apple). I don’t know how to cook a lot of Japanese food, but cooking the food I know how to cook is too expensive to do on a regular basis.

I need to cut this short before I get distracted, but I’ll end on this note: Shiso Pepsi tastes like drinking Pepsi after brushing your teeth. What is Shiso Pepsi. I can only explain through photo:

Tastes as good as it looks. I recommend only if you want to know what sadness tastes like.

Bottoms up! I’ll be talking to you soon!

I’m finally done with my move, my cat appears to have adjusted to the dogs and now all that’s left is for me to prepare for my upcoming trip. For the next few weeks I’m going to be documenting what kind of things I’ve been doing and what others should strongly consider before going abroad to Japan. This will mainly be aimed at women since I’m a woman and  don’t have experience in shopping for clothes in Japan for men.

Stock up on essentials before you go

If you’re 5’4″ and no bigger than a size 8, congratulations –you will have no problems shopping in Japan. If you’re 5’7″ and have a curvy figure, finding clothes will be more of a problem than it is in the states. Even when I was at my thinnest in Japan (which was the smallest I’ve ever been) I still had a hard time finding clothes that fit me properly.

The biggest problem I had was finding new pants. In Japan, the pants are cut to be shorter than what you would find on the racks in the states. Almost everything is pre-cut to fit the petite frames of Japanese women. If you’re not a petite size or bigger than a size 10 in jeans or larger than a 34C for bra sizes, I recommend stocking up on pants and bras BEFORE you go to Japan. I also recommend bring one or two tight-fitting pairs and a slightly smaller bra in case you lose weight while you are over there.

Buying tops for Japan

By far the biggest problem I’ve noticed in my wardrobe is the number of low-cut, cleavage enhancing tops. These types of shirts are OK to wear in America, especially in the summer. In Japan it’s considered immodest to bear your cleavage as freely as we do here. Women’s shirts in Japan are cut a lot higher because of Japanese culture and customs. Bowing is very common in Japan, and while Japanese bows are quick and to the point, you still don’t want someone looking down your shirt while you’re doing it.

If you have a number of low-cut tops, either don’t bring them or experiment with layering. Get some solid color tanks to wear under your skimpier shirts so you don’t have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe.

Listen to what people are(n’t) saying about your clothes

In Japan, saying what you really mean isn’t exactly chic, so listen for any veiled criticism about your outfit. Comments along the lines of “Oh, you are showing off so much skin” should not be taken as a compliment. Remember, Japanese people sometimes have a hidden context, so please keep an open eye and ear to how people are reacting to you.

So I noticed that whenever I tell anyone where I’ll be living I seem to get a lot of blank stares and “so are you near Tokyo or Osaka?” I’m near neither. Rather than try and explain it I’ll just point it out. I am living here:I’ve pointed out about where Kahoku is on the map. It’s right on the coast. I can’t wait to go swimming and cause a minor disturbance by wearing a bikini.

This hasn’t been easy for me the past couple weeks. I’ve wanted to shout this from the rooftop, or get nauseous and throw up on my shoes. This is a big deal for me and I never quite know how to say big announcements so I’m just going to do it.

Last November I applied for a job to work over in Japan and I will be moving to Japan at the end of July.

I didn’t want to post anything earlier because I hadn’t given my notice at work and I wanted them to hear it through me and not through happenstance or rumor. But I’ve given my notice and am ready to be open about my decision to leave a job I love.
I am going through the Japan Exchange and Teaching Program and I will be teaching in one of the schools in Kahoku City（かほく市） in Ishikawa Prefecture. I’m incredibly excited and incredibly nervous at the same time. It will be hard to leave all of my friends and family (again), but this is something I want to do to better myself and to learn more about a country I have strong connections to.

Right now, I’m going on a year-long contract with the possibilty to extend it if I see fit. I’m mostly going to hit the books and get stronger in my Japanese. I want to get a higher certification than what I qualified for in 2003 in my language ability so a lot of this will be studying and speaking Japanese. Also, I will be attending this super-sweet Cat Festival my city holds in August where people dress up like cats. Why do they dress up like cats? Because a philosopher named Kitaro Nishida liked cats.

For the next few weeks I’ll be blogging about preparing for Japan, talking about what clothes or shoes to buy and how to prepare for a year abroad.

I love you all! Thanks for your support.